As regular readers will know I am still a UK passport holder.
As people reading my stuff last year will realise it is no big deal for me, and nobody will turn me into a raving patriot.
At the same time as readers of this blog will know, I have moved beyond the restrictions of patriotism - I am a citizen of the world, certainly of Europe, and take some pride in my lack of blinkers when it comes to such matters.
There are no tribes in Europe any more - thankfully - though nationalist parties across the continent are only too willing to have you believe otherwise.
I also have some very strange commitments as a British national - in favour of the UK abolishing the monarchy and becoming a republic, pro-EU (but they should get round to abandoning their support for neo-liberal economics), pro-Euro (the pound should go before it falls any further!). I am not sure being an atheist is so strange these days (see Richard Dawkins for example), but that too makes me part of a minority.
And I dislike conservatism and nationalism and the UK is a notoriously conservative country with a pronounced nationalist fringe.
This all could change in a few years if I live that long and the UK compounds its normal stupidity by leaving the EU - in that case I shall definitely be applying for German nationality. This blog will have to change its name (Ein Deutscher in Frankfurt? Well the majority of Frankfurters are, even with the 170 nationalities we have in our wonderful cosmopolitan city - Nigel Farage, please note!).
Anyway I am now stuck with my usual annoyance about yet more stupidity emanating from the UK - though of a permanent nature, rather than the occasional temporary glitch.
My wife has her annual holiday in November. This is normally planned for November because it is the best month to visit her native Thailand. As we do not have any spare money to go there and she does not fancy three weeks sitting round our wonderful cosmopolitan city, we were looking at alternatives. I fancied visiting our friends who live in Northern Germany, close to Bremen, maybe the friend that she has near Bern in Switzerland (I have never met the girl, but I am sure it would be an interesting trip), maybe visit my friends in the Netherlands, or the friends that my wife has in Ålesund in Norway (yes, it would be a bit dark and cold this time of year, but I loved my time in Oslo, so ....).
None of these will happen.
My wife has decided that we are going to England to visit my family! My aunt is 87 years old and may not live much longer and my wife is very fond of her. OK. For the rest my parents have been dead since 1988 and 2000 respectively, my cousin, Paul, who was a great guy, died last year. Most anyone else I have lost contact with. We talk to my aunt on the phone a lot anyway, so going there in person ....
Hardly essential.
Particularly when you think of the cost involved.
Curiously my wife is a lot more concerned about MY family than I am. I was always a friends person rather than a family person. I have lost touch though with many of the friends that I had there - two of the most important ones have died. And the ones left tend to live in geographically awkward places. And given the lousy rail service (and the ridiculous cost of living even with the plummeting pound!) .....
The most stupid side of this follows though (no, not the bit about my wife being a staunch royalist - come on, what else would you expect from a Thai national?). I can take her to Holland (an EU country) or Norway or Switzerland (non-EU countries) without a visa. I can take her to at least 22 others without a visa. It would not cost us a cent to stay with our friends in Bremen. It would also not cost us a cent for a visa to go to Holland.
The UK?
I am a British national. I am a British passport holder. I have a European skin colour (if that is important), I spent 40 years of my life living there.
She is my wife. She has been to the UK twice before (in 2005 and 2008). She is a pacifist Buddhist and the least dangerous person on this planet.
Every time that she goes to the f***ing UK, she needs a f***ing visa. This is as insulting as it gets - and note if some British sleazeballs want to go and hang round the tawdry bars of Pattaya or Patpong for four weeks, they do not need a visa to get into Thailand.
TIME FOR SOME RECIPROCATION????
Then let us get round to the cost! The visa for 6 months costs a cool 100 Euro. She would like a 10-year visa (no point, we do not go often enough). That would cost, get this, 900 Euro! That is approximately 70% of two economy return class tickets to Bangkok. We cannot afford to go to Thailand? Then we certainly cannot afford 900 Euro for a visa!
This is though not the end of this ridiculous story. I have remarked upon this before in this blog, but it is worth repeating - every time you want a visa you have to go and be finger-printed and have your photo taken. You have to go to Düsseldorf (and now possibly also Munich or Berlin) in person. That is a return train fare. That is another 100 Euro approximately.
Imagine the Thais imposing similar conditions on British sleazeballs who want to visit Pattaya or Patpong! But anyway -
TIME FOR SOME RECIPROCATION????
When she has paid the airfare, the 4-7 days in a hotel (my aunt cannot accommodate us), the train fare from Manchester to Humberside and back, meals for several days ..... And, of course having 12% of your money ripped off at exchange bureaux!
Is it worth it?
They probably have more reason to keep me out than her (not that I am physically dangerous), as you are not supposed to criticise the wonderful disaster that Thatcher and Blair created. She will be her usual, pleasant, affable, likable, personable, kind, understanding self. No chance of her hanging round sleazy bars either.
So why they need to strip her of so much money (never mind the insults to her pride and dignity) for all this rigmarole so she can get into their confounded country for as many days it takes before I am overtaken by the need to get back to civilisation (well one thing to be said, if I must be tribal, at least I shall be in the North which for all its deficiencies is not London or the EXP heartlands ....) .... Words fail me!
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