Visas

The first time that I ever needed a visa was in 1975.

I had already been to some seven or eight European countries without one, so which exotic destination would you imagine required me to have a visa?

Answer (and this no longer applies incidentally) was .... the United States of America! Special relationship or no they were not prepared to let me in without the document in question. This proved no real problem though. I obtained the application form in advance, duly filled it out, and headed off to London, where I dropped it off at the US Embassy in the morning and collected it from there the same afternoon.

Obviously nothing about me was suspicious. The only potential  pitfall was the question on the form: "Have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?". Everyone was bound to answer "No". Rabid Trotskyists (the more logical description for radicals of the period - Communists were definitely old hat!) would, for instance, regard the CP as a conservative leaning organisation!

Interestingly there was no question as to whether I had ever been a Nazi, but anyway, move on.

The visa served me well twice - both times crossing from Canada (for which country I did not need a visa!) to the US. Once you had it, you did not need to reapply - so when I went back in 1983, I could flash the old visa upon entry. These days (see also above) citizens from certain allied countries are excluded from the need to have one. Which is all well and good and the way it should be where friends are concerned (OK, as a result the likes of Richard Reid got in without a visa, as would Anjem Choudary, if other factors were not involved).

This requirement to obtain a visa is though subject to inconsistencies where countries are concerned. Take Thailand for example. A European who wants to go to Thailand for wharrever reason can enter the country for four weeks without needing a visa. The Thais regard tourism as a very important source of income, and are not too keen to put off visitors coming to enjoy the beaches and the culture. That it also has allowed in more than a few dubious individuals looking for sexual thrills - well that is the risk that has be taken, although increasingly draconian sentences have been put in place for foreign paedophiles who commit offences.

Anyway if the Thais allow Europeans in for four weeks without a visa, you would think that European countries would reciprocate, right?

There are three levels of reply for this: no, no and no! 

Someone coming from Thailand to a European country will require a visa - at least in those countries with which I am most familiar (Germany, the Netherlands, France, the UK, Belgium). The type of visa will depend upon the purpose (business, student, tourist).

The purpose - well that depends upon interpretation. Some would claim that it is in the entrant's interests (the authorities do not want to allow young women to be exploited as prostitutes for example). This sounds laudable enough, although there is the sense of racial profiling and trying to keep "coloured" immigrants out - well they would certainly want to stay over the time usw. This can lead to some fairly difficult protracted discussions at immigration control, particularly if the visitor has a limited command of English or the native tongue of the country entered.

As with Thai visitors, so with visitors from other countries that are "visa" countries. Though it would not be surprising if the residents of some countries were treated with more suspicion that those of others. One would imagine that a Thai resident might face a bit less hassle than a resident of Pakistan for example.This isn't supposed to happen like that, but ....  

Once inside the Schengen zone, that is more or less it. In theory France expects visas from visitors from some countries while Germany may allow them access with a passport only. So checks are made on trains between the two countries occasionally. The same seems to apply between Germany and the Netherlands.

The UK is not of course a member of the Schengen agreement, so a visitor to Germany will need a totally different set-up for entering the UK. A constant source of frustration to me personally is the fact that my wife has a permanent resident permit for Germany and can travel to 22 other European countries (including non-EU Switzerland and Norway) without a separate visa, but still needs one for the UK. And this despite the fact that she is married to a British citizen (an ethnically white European British citizen whose ancestors arrived as illegal immigrants to England on the Viking longboats some 1200-1300 years ago!).

If I want to take her to the UK (as my wife, not as a lady of the night who will provide me an income - let us make that point clear!), she needs a visa. The standard tourist visa costs 95 Euro and lasts six months. There is the possible 10-year visa which costs a ridiculous 882 Euro! We have spent a total of 6 days  in the UK in the 11 years that we have been married, and spending even 95 Euro strikes me as outrageous, particularly when I can take her to Norway or Holland or France for nothing - her passport and German residence permit being sufficient.

What was even more ridiculous in 2008 (and I do not know whether this has changed) was the fact that you could not apply for a visa by post any more - even if you had had one before! You had to attend an interview in Düsseldorf in person! Which meant another 90 Euro in travel costs for the return journey by train (and 2 and a half hours travel time). For someone living in Garmisch-Partenkirchen or Rostock, that would be a much longer and more expensive journey.

It is a grotesque waste of money (and we do not have a lot spare to waste on nonsense of this ilk). And frankly insulting, and typical nonsensical British insularity!

What really surprises me is that, as I have married a non-UK national and live outside the country, that they do not want me to have a visa as well! Get an EXP (UKIP to the idiots who support it) government some time, they may even come up with that idea.

There really should be a standardisation of visa awards, so that they reflect the nature of the agreement both ways. The fact the Thais among others allow themselves to be treated like suckers while opening their doors to foreign visitors for four weeks without all this nonsense causes me personally no little embarrassment. It is time that they demanded equal treatment for their nationals at all levels - and got it without any questions being asked!