So when do the people you know or knew really die?

I was scouting the Web yesterday for details on two former university friends with whom I kept in touch for years.

In the first instance, approximately three years ago, the Christmas card that I sent him and his family came back with "no longer at this address" written on it. He was never known to just disappear, he always left forwarding addresses, always let you know when he changed his 'phone number or email address (both those did not work either).

While his wife was a strange person in some respects (the ansaphone was always left on - so you could not contact them directly), this simply disappearing without trace was so untypical ....

Eventually I concluded that he must have died. So yesterday I checked all the obituaries that I could find in the relevant areas. Nothing. The last Internet reference for anything concerning him was in 2005. He was such a good friend for years, it is difficult to know what might have happened.

In the second instance, I am certain that the guy in question died, simply as he had been a victim of liver cancer, which they once cured only for it to return. For a non-smoker and non-drinker to catch this is all the weirder, and as a wonderful husband, father and grandfather all the more tragic.

For all that I can find no references to his death anywhere either. I am totally baffled - and saddened.