Capitalism – owning the casino guaranteeing that you are the only winner, but even you can lose if you get too greedy or drink away the proceeds.
Fascism – working with the casino owner to take over any competition by forceful means, eradicating all the people whom you think (on a totally arbitrary basis) should not be in the casino or anywhere else for that matter, and giving dirty jobs to a large number of the remainder.
Conservatism – playing the casino all the time expecting to win, borrowing large sums so you can do so, laughing at all the losers, but crying like a baby (and always blaming someone else) when you lose yourself.
Socialism – still playing the casino, thinking somehow you can get everyone to win when reality constantly proves that it is not possible, and making sure the winners don’t get to enjoy their winnings by taking their winnings away and trying to distribute these by way of freebies (drinks, food, tee-shirts) to everyone there.
Communism – taking over the casino and closing down all the games played inside it, wondering where all the money has gone, and then forcing all the people still inside to stay even if they do not want to, and tying up in chains, or shooting, the people who argue.
Environmentalism – playing the casino and trying to replace the chips with flowers.
Anarchy – blowing up the casino.
NOTE ALSO
Libertarianism – see Conservatism (these were previously different. There was something else called Conservatism, where people simply kept their winnings and left the casino, or only came back with the money that they had won, not with borrowed money. This is now though a defunct theory and has merged with Libertarianism, apart from the fact that former Libertarians smoke reefers, while traditional Conservatives do not).
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