Pigs will be flying next .....

In the past 24 hours the British Parliament (reconvened especially to vote "for" the action) and the German Foreign Ministry have both come out against involvement in the conflict in Syria.

Despite pressure from the United States. Putting to one side for a minute whether they might have reacted differently if there had been a Republican rather than a Democrat President in the USA (the British in particular tend to follow "commands" - the correct word, "requests" they are usually not - from GOP leaders!), it shows a positive trend.

The UK backing off the prospect of taking part in a war is indeed a turn-up, even if the ridiculous support of the Iraq War and the toll of 11 years in the more justifiable conflict in Afghanistan seem to have impacted public opinion and their elected representatives in the same way.

Germany has since the end of the Second World War stayed out of most external conflicts. Bosnia and Afghanistan were exceptions that proved the rule. Angela Merkel's ambivalence on the Iraq campaign though should not be forgotten (notably she was pro German involvement when in opposition and changed her tune once she gained power - responding to 89% opposition in public opinion, or finally waking up to the reality of the situation and what was involved?).

That leading European members of NATO can actually stand up and be counted on this issue though is a rare event indeed. Flying pigs overhead? If there are - beware! The droppings will make those emanating from pigeons seem really minor in comparison!

Which does not mean that what is going on in Syria is not significant. To repeat for the third or fourth time - this is a civil war and needs a negotiated settlement. But when you have Hezbollah fighters appearing on one side and fighters from Al-Qaeda appearing on the other (yes, I know that they are the minorities of the fighters in both cases, but even so), it is not a time for taking sides. Both are pretty evil and whoever wins will hardly be an ally.

The answer to the conflict probably lies with Russia and the Arab League who will have some influence with the parties ..... and Iran, whose new President is likely to be less strident and unapproachable than his predecessor. But adding fuel to the fire by supporting one side over the other offers little by way of a solution.

Eventually for a rare once some sense has appeared simultaneously from the UK and Germany. Now if they can for once also bang their heads together on getting some negotiations moving - who knows? Well after the German elections are over next month anyway!

Knowing what sells

Try the actor John Cleese's comments on the British newspaper industry this week (quoted, without permission, courtesy of the Guardian):

Specifically excepting the Guardian, the Independent and the Daily Mirror, Cleese said: "The rest are the most appalling, depraved, disgusting, amoral creatures you could find anywhere outside of prison." He then added: "And of course many of them are going to be inside a prison soon.".

Accurate and sums it up nicely. Though I am not sure why the Daily Telegraph the Sunday Telegraph are excluded either- even if I do not agree with their opinions.

Waiting meanwhile for a commentary on the German tabloid "Bild" from someone here. Not sure that it will be forthcoming.

UKIP/EXP vs EU - a contest in 28 rounds

And a tie-breaker in case it is needed. One place from each EU country selected to represent the EU, one place selected almost at random to represent the UKIP/EXP.

Round 1.
Where would  I rather be/work - Wokingham (UKIP/EXP) or Vienna, Austria (EU)?
Winner - Vienna.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 1.

Round 2.
Where would I rather be/work - Guildford (UKIP/EXP) or Tallinn, Estonia (EU)?
Winner - Tallinn.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 2.

Round 3.
Where would I rather be/work - Aylesbury (UKIP/EXP) or Barcelona, Spain (EU)?
Winner - Barcelona.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 3.

Round 4.
Where would I rather be/work - Kingston-Upon-Thames (UKIP/EXP) or Athens, Greece (EU)?
Winner - Athens (difficult time economically, but compare the history).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 4.

Round 5.
Where would I rather be/work - Dunstable (UKIP/EXP) or Riga, Latvia (EU)?
Winner - Riga.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 5.

Round 6.
Where would I rather be/work - Basingstoke (UKIP/EXP) or Copenhagen, Denmark (EU)?
Winner - Copenhagen.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 6.

Round 7.
Where would I rather be/work - Reading (UKIP/EXP) or Florence, Italy (EU)?
Winner - Florence.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 7.

Round 8.
Where would I rather be/work - Redhill (UKIP/EXP) or Krakow, Poland (EU)?
Winner - Krakow (never been, but sounds interesting).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 8.

Round 9.
Where would I rather be/work - Basildon (UKIP/EXP) or Paris, France (EU)?
Winner - Paris (surprised?).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 9.

Round 10.
Where would I rather be/work - Sevenoaks (UKIP/EXP) or Dublin, Ireland (EU)?
Winner - Dublin.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 10.

Round 11.
Where would I rather be/work - Horsham (UKIP/EXP) or Luxembourg, Luxembourg (EU)?
Winner - Luxembourg.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 11.

Round 12.
Where would I rather be/work - Ascot (UKIP/EXP) or Vilnius, Lithuania (EU)?
Winner - Vilnius (never been there, but I would never be able to afford Ascot).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 12.

Round 13.
Where would I rather be/work - Henley-on-Thames (UKIP/EXP) or Lisbon, Portugal (EU)?
Winner - Lisbon (beautiful city, must get round to writing a piece on it).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 13.

Round 14.
Where would I rather be/work - Epsom (UKIP/EXP) or Prague, Czech Republic (EU)?
Winner - Prague.
Score UKIP/EXP 0 EU 14.

Round 15.
Where would I rather be/work - Uxbridge (UKIP/EXP) or Budapest, Hungary (EU)?
Winner - Budapest (that was the narrowest win to date).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 15.

Round 16.
Where would I rather be/work - Dorking (UKIP/EXP) or Stockholm, Sweden (EU)?
Winner - Stockholm.
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 16.

Round 17.
Where would I rather be/work - Crawley (UKIP/EXP) or Bruges, Belgium (EU)?
Winner - Bruges (NB, I do know that the locals actually call it "Brugge").
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 17.

Round 18.
Where would I rather be/work - Watford (UKIP/EXP) or Amsterdam, the Netherlands (EU)?
Winner - Amsterdam (surprised???).
Score: UKIP/EXP 0 EU 18.

Round 19.
Where would I rather be/work - Canterbury (UKIP/EXP) or Sofia, Bulgaria (EU)?
Winner - Canterbury (shocked? Not that I have been to Sofia, so maybe that is not a fair judgement).
Score: UKIP/EXP 1 EU 18.

Round 20.
Where would I rather be/work - Brighton (UKIP/EXP) or Ploesti, Romania (EU)?
Winner - Brighton (I haven't been to Ploesti either, so maybe that is also not a fair judgement).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 18.

Round 21.
Where would I rather be/work - Purley (UKIP/EXP) or Nicosia, Cyprus (EU)?
Winner - Nicosia (if only for the climate).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 19.

Round 22.
Where would I rather be/work - Tonbridge (UKIP/EXP) or Valletta, Malta (EU)?
Winner - Valletta (if only for the climate).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 20.

Round 23.
Where would I rather be/work - St Albans (UKIP/EXP) or Helsinki, Finland (EU)?
Winner - Helsinki.
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 21.

Round 24.
Where would I rather be/work - Romford (UKIP/EXP) or Košice, Slovakia (EU)?
Winner - Košice (never been, but as it is the current European Capital of Culture, it must have summat to recommend it).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 22.

Round 25.
Where would I rather be/work - Bracknell (UKIP/EXP) or Ljubljana, Slovenia (EU)?
Winner - Ljubljana (never been, but it sounds interesting).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 23.

Round 26.
Where would I rather be/work - Farnborough (UKIP/EXP) or Hamburg, Germany (EU)?
Winner - Hamburg (could not choose Frankfurt to represent Germany as I already live there and I do not want accusations of bias! The same could apply to Cologne and Munich where I lived previously).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 24.

Round 27.
Where would I rather be/work - London (UKIP/EXP) or Edinburgh, Scotland (EU)?
Winner - Edinburgh (had to pick somewhere in the UK to represent the EU. Not easy. Anyway as Alex Salmond occasionally makes sensible noises about the EU and the SNP are currently the majority party in the Scottish Assembly in Edinburgh, we will settle for that. Obviously beats London hands down, so there will be accusations of bias usw - inevitable though, really).
Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 25.

Round 28
Which currency would I rather use, the Pound (UKIP/EXP) or the Euro (EU)?
Winner - the Euro. I prefer a currency that gains rather than loses value. When the Euro came into common circulation in 2002 the Pound was worth €1.62. As of today it is worth €1,17, which means that it has lost 45 Euro cents in value over the past 11 years. The Euro, despite all its problems, is a clear winner against the Pound.
 Score: UKIP/EXP 2 EU 26.

Clear win, tie-breaker not needed.

But if you had wanted to know the tie breaker:
Where would I rather be/work - Clacton-on-Sea (UKIP/EXP) or Dubrovnik, Croatia (EU to be)?
Interesting question?

Postscript (January 1st, 2002). For the UKIP/EXP you can now read the British Conservative Party and the current Johnson government as they had adopted all of the EXP's policies on Europe and included them in Brexit! 

If anyone also remembers Farage mentioning during the Brexit campaign how non-EU Switzerland and Norway were better off and happier outside the EU, perhaps someone should bring up the point that British nationals now have no rights to work in the EU without permission or a visa (which is not easy to get unless you meet very specific criteria - usually involving sponsorship), whereas Swiss and Norwegian citizens have exactly the same rights as EU citizens in this respect. 

And check out also the current British Foreign Minister, Liz Truss, and her critical remark during the Brexit campaign that she wouldn't want a situation where British citizens wouldn't be able to work in EU countries if the UK left (and British businesses would have difficulty setting up European affiliates also). And check out how now she finds this perfectly OK (forced pseudo-imprisonment and a much increased prospect of unemployment because you happened to be born in the wrong place and can't get out and go and live in a place where you would love to live and has far better prospects!). Consistency in political views? A typical piece of changing views merely to satisfy her own ambitions. 

Her original logic was absolutely correct incidentally. If Brexit had happened in 1988, 1993 or 1994, my career would have been ruined with no satisfactory alternative being available to me!

Her constituency is South-West Norfolk. The largest town in that area is a place called Thetford which has a population of 24,000. She would want to offer me that as an alternative to any of the following places where I have worked and lived: Amsterdam, Paris, Munich, Köln/Cologne, Frankfurt. Thriving major cities where a lot happens and there is a lot to do. Thetford in comparison? Spare me the nonsense!  

I remember at one point of my life getting stuck for 6 months in Horsham, another nondescript town in the South-East of England where boredom seems to be a built-in norm! I remember remarking at the time that it must be the most boring place on earth! Thetford? No thank you!

Austria - a rambling perspective

My piece on Denmark in my "A quick guide to silly European stereotypes and Europe's ladies of the night - Part wharrever" series is now my most widely read piece on this blog. Thanks to all who have read it, and a particular thank you to my readership in Scandinavia.

This was going to be "Part 7" (after Sweden/Norway, Denmark, the Netherlands, the UK, France and Germany). There is a problem though.

I have difficulty thinking of many stereotypes about Austria, and as for "silly stereotypes" ..... I went and googled (both google.co.uk and google.de) in both English and German to try and find some interesting stuff.

Not much really. Plenty of interesting information, but nothing much stereotypical.

Music (Mozart, Strauss waltzes, Tyrolean folk music, even the von Trapp family singers if you insist) and mountains (and skiing of course).

I arrived in Salzburg in 1973 and made the mistake of staying in a youth hostel (they locked the doors at nine o'clock at night, so no venturing out to enjoy the city). The following day though provided me more information on Mozart than you can find in the Encyclopedia Britannica, and his face seemed to be on everything from tour brochures to chocolate to biscuit tins to coffee mugs ..... It is a beautiful city though, plenty of history worth wandering through, they have the annual festival there in July and August (check out Salzburg Festival on google for what is lined up for whichever year you are travelling - and booking in advance is recommended, as also applies to accommodation), and if you like scenery, there is plenty to be enjoyed.

Personally I am not a winter person, so skiing events in the mountains I have never experienced. All I know about Kitzbühel and Innsbruck usw is what I have seen on television. Which makes me all the happier to have visited Salzburg and have taken the train across the country on both my visits (1973 and 1996), otherwise my sole experience of Austria would have been Vienna.

Nowt wrong with Vienna (Wien if you want the German name, and do not forget that the Germans pronounce the "W" like a "v", so for English speakers its sounds like "Veen"). But as my one-time colleague at IBM Nederland once reminded me, Amsterdam is not the Netherlands, and on the same principle Paris is not France and London thankfully is not England or the UK (if tha' believes that, tha' knaws nowt, sithee!).

So Vienna is not Austria. Only its hub, its centre, its capital city. When the late ultraconservative politician Jörg Haider spoke about Vienna, he always seemed to have a sceptical tone in his voice - which as his power base was in Kärtnen (Carinthia) in the South of the country, may not be surprising.

Vienna though is a "must see" on any European trip. The days of the Hapsburgs may well be in the past, but the effects of the living museum are all around you. The coffee houses are a wonderful tradition (come armed though with a wallet or purse well packed with Euro - the coffee is excellent and has a price to match).

Expensive was the problem when I was there as a poor student in 1973, and I recall getting through the last day on four pieces of fruit and an ice cream - excellent ice cream parlours to be found back then, I imagine that it still applies.

Do not imagine that the Viennese always eat Wiener Schnitzel, or are always eating sausages (Wieners!) though - that is a stereotype! And there are other Strudels available apart from Apfelstrudel for dessert as well. Being at the crossroads of Central Europe, there are all sorts of interesting international restaurants. The smaller offbeat places that reflect their Eastern European origins for example.

And there is plenty of excellent beer to be drunk - Austria may have missed out on its place in the united Germany in the 1870s, but some Germanic traditions live on!

From my experience in 1996 (which is already 17 years ago - this could have changed), I remember it being almost like Berlin at night - a place that stays awake late. Yes there are some sleazy areas as well (check the prices on the door if you do not want to be ripped off, surprises inside should be a rare event though). The ladies of the night are working there legally (another Germanic custom), but it is easy enough (and advisable) to say "no". 

Finding a "normal" bar with great friendly people though until 3 o'clock in the morning was certainly possible in 1996, and from what I can gather from the Internet it is still the case.

This is an affluent country, and the most successful in Europe from many economic points of view. And, I will repeat, it can be expensive. But I have still some wonderful memories from my last visit (when I almost fell in love, that was five years before I met my wife, so I don't have to duck the rolling-pin when making that remark!), and if you are a winter person, please tell me about your time in Kitzbühel - I would love to know what it's like!

Postscript - apologies to the people who have already read this. I forgot to mention the Prater Park in Vienna. A magnificent large fairground with all sorts of great rides, and the best-known big wheel (ferris wheel - US English) in Europe. If you ever saw the excellent old Carol Reed / Graham Greene movie "The Third Man" with Orson Welles as Harry Lime, Joseph Cotten and the wonderful Italian actress, Valli - that wheel! Still there, still going strong after all these years!

Back in 1973 they also had the largest pinball parlour anywhere in Europe, but sadly pinball as an art form is dead in the water.

Open March till October, take the U-Bahn line U1 to Praterstern. Personally recommended and check out "Prater" on YouTube if you want some ideas!

Strange baseball curses and strange article titles

All in one go.

From www.overthemonster.com yesterday on actor Ben Affleck, a well-known Boston Red Sox supporter and his birthday

"It's Ben Affleck's birthday, so the Red Sox will probably lose today".

The article begins with the punchline:

"That's been the case the last 13 times they've played on August 15, ever since Good Will Hunting released".

Well now you can make it 14 ..... Losing 2-1 to the Blue Jays in Toronto was not the expected outcome, unless you accept the curse was working.

Quite why, for a rationalist like myself, is difficult to explain. There would be no apparent logical reason.

Of course curses were meant to be broken - the Curse of the Bambino (86 years after the departure of Babe Ruth for the hated Yankees, the Red Sox finally won another World Series in 2004). All sorts of mystic practices were tried to remove the curse. Which one worked, I haven't heard.

I am meanwhile not expecting the Red Sox to win the World Series this year (theoretically the team should not even be top of the AL East at this point of the season - a great example of a well-managed team performing far better than the individual parts), and being caught and overtaken by the Tampa Bay Rays is not out of the question, or maybe the Baltimore Orioles who have the easiest schedule for the remainder of the season for teams in the division. Did I mention the hated Yankees? No ....

I read up a load of pre-season predictions from pundits on ESPN.com earlier this week. So wrong you cannot possibly get. The only team that they all seemed to rate pre-season that are doing really well are the Detroit Tigers. At this point of the season my pick for the World Series would be the Tigers against the LA Dodgers, but you know how good my punditry has been over the years.

And anyway as a non-American not living in the USA what could I possibly know about baseball?

And anyway I might be cursed ....

So where are the pithy one-liners?

I was asked this the other day.

My answer:

you cannot answer the world's problems with a one-line answer, though some people (particularly anyone connected with Rupert Murdoch's enterprises) will try and answer the world's problems with one word, never mind one line.

And my response to their one-word answers:

"Garbage!" or "Rubbish!".

Take your pick.

So if you have any questions, please articulate them carefully and expect a well-considered, detailed response.

The Internet has no national borders

And politicians in the US and UK, who want to bring in legislation on the principle that it has, ought to get real on that issue!

The fact that you have an Internet Service Provider based in your own country does not mean that you cannot find one which will allow you access from somewhere else. And the people whom the legislation is meant to stop will very likely find such an outlet.

Which makes it all the more ridiculous frankly.

There should be international cooperation on what should and should not be allowed on the Web, no question. Does anyone anywhere in the world want to watch "entertainment" involving people being chopped up with machetes or chain saws? Live?

I would hope not.

Or women being forcibly raped? Live?

I would absolutely hope not.

But simply trying to bring in national legislation with a total disregard to what happens elsewhere is not only silly (and reeks of the silly nationalism that is a growing objective for many idiot groups in different parts of the world), it is also very likely unworkable given the medium involved.

The insane adventures of the insomniac atheist, or bringing sense to nonsense

Saturday afternoon.

A dead day today, a bit of work to do tomorrow, mainly admin this morning, checking out baseball sites since that time (now that I have abandoned my interest in football (North American = soccer) entirely, and the Red Sox are having a great season) and fighting the headache that you get as the day wears on.

The headache results from insomnia. Or at least irregular sleep.

There was an item that I spotted on the Internet this afternoon with regard to shift work. Containing a punch-line: "Why rotating shift work is bad for your health". As the French say: "cela va sans dire".

I am not the one who works shifts, that is my wife's misfortune (actually a worse misfortune would be having no job at all). But there is the psychological problem with me that my mind is waiting for the alarm to go off when she is working the morning shift and what with her starting to move at 0320 usw. I cannot remember the last time when she was on her early morning start when I slept through it all. Her shift, my insomnia.

At 0400 when she goes out, I get up, switch on the computer and do summat - mainly check baseball games currently going on in the US at the moment. 0400 in Frankfurt is 2200 in Boston, 8th or 9th innings usually. If by 0500 I am still not tired, I take the first train into Frankfurt and walk round bits of the city, salubrious and occasionally otherwise. Amazing the variety of life to observe at that time of the day.

Return, 0630 you suddenly need to sleep again (that time is becoming predictable, and 90 minutes later you wake up again feeling as wretchedly awful as at any time in your life. If you have a customer waiting for a morning delivery of a translation, watch out ..... ).

Some weirdoes out there would put this down to being "God's plan" of course. You know - a third of the members in the US Congress apparently believe that nonsense. And they are trusted to take decisions affecting people's lives? Huh?

Anyway religion has now made its way on to LinkedIn.com of all places. LinkedIn is the best hope for the professional wharrever to find professional contacts. This could lead to the job of your dreams usw. Actually it doesn't quite work like that (surprise, surprise). Maybe it isn't "God's plan". Cannot be owt on those lines, LinkedIn is not that sort of social medium.

This week though we got an item on religion, believe it or not - on how companies could learn from how religions are successfully organised and have survived for so long. Article name: "Leadership Lessons from the World's Religions"; author: Dave Kerpen. Link (if it works):

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130801153028-15077789-leadership-lessons-from-the-world-s-religions?trk=tod-posts-art-

Interesting, if extremely one-sided. My answer under the moniker of "Tony S" exposes it for the one-sided view that it presents (I could have added that they should remember Torquemada and the Spanish Inquisition, remember burning heretics at the stake, and take note what happens to people guilty of "apostasy" in parts of the Muslim world even now. And of course the numerous wars fought in the name of religion). (Update - August 2018. I have since left LinkedIn and my comment has consequently disappeared).

There are things that are actually best kept out of the workplace. Monday morning (Wednesday or Thursday morning with midweek games) analyses of football games and religion being the most obvious ones. Good companies actually need a sense of purpose, goals to achieve and a committed, diverse workforce. The more controversy you have to handle, the more idiotic dogma that there is to get in the way, the less successful the company is likely to be.

Eventually, on a professional level, I have always tried to get on with everyone to get the job done. You don't let your personal opinions on non-work related matters become too important. Back in the 1980s when I was working in Manchester, I had to watch two hours every Monday between August and May pass with these absurd "United" /  "City" arguments. And as for the days after England had lost an important international game. Did any work get done?

Only a game, guys, there are programs waiting to be completed, I have the test analysis ready and a customer who wants delivery at 1400, and OK he should never have missed that open goal.

And as for religion. God knows? God cares? As God doesn't exist, why waste your time worrying. There is this life to get through. That is the customer ringing, not God or Allah or Jehovah or Shiva or Zeus or Thor or Marduk ..... The customer getting angry now is far more important than the non-existent eternity, right? And if his project isn't delivered on time, the complaints will last an eternity as well. And there will be Hell to pay possibly. In this life, not the next!

And, yes, yes, yes, I know he should have scored. Now au boulot!

The market economy seen from a job applicant's point of view

If you are really good at something and expect a decent salary, or at least a living wage, along with a reasonable degree of job security, they will never offer you the job.

If you are dreadful at something, would do it extremely badly but they can get away with paying you the equivalent of pig swill (and they can treat you like pig swill in the process), and the chances are that you will starve to death very quickly on what they are paying you - then you are virtually guaranteed the job.

All hail the wondrous market economy!